Saturday, September 28, 2013

I'm Golden! A message to my siblings.

Ok, so I'm bald.

The baldness is not the point.  It's what I learned about myself by going bald.

Before I let you in on my little secret, I'll set the mood with some background for my readers.



Our father and mother (who art in Heaven,) Bud and Carolyn Golden, Dad and Mom, Bops and Gramma, Great Bops and Great Gramma...they were known by several monikers...had a big family.  Eight children.  In eleven years.  I know. 

It went like this:  The much-desired boy at the top of the order and then seven girls in a row.  They became so good at making girls, that in the end they were sending them out two at a time!  Of course, my brother was the official Golden Child, and the rest of us were the Golden Girls!  The original Golden Girls.  As teens, people would call the house looking for babysitters and just ask for one of the Golden Girls.  When I was a very little kid, I thought Little Golden Books were written just for my family!  Barbara probably told me that.  I remember wondering how other families got our books at their houses, too!

To understand what it means to say "I'm Golden" in our family, it is important to know the wonderful parents of this brood.  If Bob Hope had married Milton Bradley and they had a child, it would have been my father.  Always ready with a one-liner and a master of card tricks and games.  It seems we never tired of the old stories he'd spin during Sunday dinner.  Over and over we wanted to hear about how his mother locked him in the closet where he "spit in her Sunday shoes, her hat, her gloves and then sat there waiting for more spit to come."  While dishes were being done, Dad would entertain by playing swing bass ditties on the piano - I can still hear it!  Sunday nights ALWAYS ended with his popcorn, for which he was/is famous.  It was the only thing he could cook.  Luckily, we all inherited the popcorn gene!

My mother.  Sweet, kind, gentle, loving, and well....she had eyes in the back of her head.  I mean she really did!  She could shoot laser beams through the walls of the house just in case one might think one could sneak across the kitchen in clickety-clackety roller skates looking for a snack!  Being a wise observer of my sibs, I never attempted such a lame-brained trick.

I think I was getting my driver's license when I realized my name was just Kathleen and not "char-bar-mar-li-jo-ja-kathleeeeen!"  Frankly, I don't know how she knew her own name much of the time.  One morning Mom walked into the dining room and slapped Marie across the face.  She stepped back and said, "I thought you were Margaret!"   Now Marie will tell you she stills suffers the psychological scar, but OMG, that was a side-splitter!  Still is!

Anyone with a house to run and kids to chase and, godforbid, a job, is busy, but I can't imagine having to do what my mother did without a clothes dryer until AFTER the twins came along!  Hanging out all that laundry?  In the winter?  The sheets?  How?
What a wonderful family to have and to hold.  I love you all!

Ok, here goes:
Mom and Dad
TATTOOED MY HEAD!
 
Imagine my shock when I discovered this two years ago the first time I lost my hair!  I was reluctant to tell you then, but now that I'm bald again, I feel I must.
 
The truth as they saw it:
 
For your own peace of mind, I think each of you should shave your head to see if they had a message for you! 
DO IT!
 

10 comments:

  1. Okay, I'm SO doing this to Coco's head later.

    And how cute are Bops and Gramma? I will always cherish those last years with them at Chatfield when I'd drop by with McDonald's sundaes. They'd eat half after lunch and save the rest in the freezer for after their dinner. Sweetest people ever... I miss them.

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  2. I can certainly identify with the large family, having 10 siblings, right down to the false accusations. Like the unique marker on your head; I'd be afraid to shave mine for what I might read - not "our favorite." Finally, you look good in bald. DO

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  3. Ok, so is this chapter two? You are hilarious! You are cute with or without hair; just keep the faith girl, Love you, Judi (your other sis)

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  4. Ha! Good stuff there Mom! You should write a memoir 'Growing up Golden'! Or a screenplay...
    I agree with Erin, it was so special to have had that time with B and G when they lived at Chatfield. Especially since we lived far away from them when we were little. I can remember taking Bops down to Senior Wits, and he was sharp as ever (well, almost).

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  5. I tried to post before.. didnt' work.. so here it goes again. I checked my head and it says "favorite neice." Loved your Mom and Dad!

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  6. Kate, You bring some of my favorite memories back to life. What a great life we had with, as you say, Bud and Carolyn Golden, Dad and Mom, Bops and Gramma, Great Bops and Great Gramma!!! We were and ARE so blessed. Thank you for being a big part of that. I love you, Joan

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  7. This is right on and so beautifully written. I love you girl!!!!
    Jane
    p.s. All my friends wanted our parents....STILL DO!!!!

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  8. Hysterical.

    (Mary Ellen's friend from college, Kate)

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  9. When I shaved my head, all I could find was a scar where someone had thrown and implanted a dart when I was a child.

    I remember how kind Aunt Carolyn and Uncle Bud were to me even when I was a brat, which was most of the time.

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